Inside of me

This week was a rough week at work.

Do you ever feel like a puzzle piece that is trying to fit into a space that looks like you could fit but not matter how hard you try or how hard you push yourself you just don't fit?
That is how I have felt all week and it only worsened each day...okay if I'm telling you the truth that is how I have felt for the past {8} months..
I thought that it would have gotten easier at this point-but it hasn't.

Each day I try to remind myself that I'm here for a more important purpose. I'm here to do God's work. I'm here to please Him...not my co-workers. I constantly tell myself to stand my ground to not gossip, to not feel belittled, not give into them, not let them get to me, to remember that He will be the one to judge me at the end of the day-not them. Honestly though-it is so hard!


This has made me realize that for too long now I have cared what others think about me.
I have felt inadequate because of the way I think others perceive me.
This is something I struggle with every day with nearly every person I come into contact with.
I have been praying so hard lately for the strength to look past what I think others see in me and try to focus on what I know is there.
I've prayed for the strength to know I am worth more than I give myself credit. It's a battle and I'm fighting this battle everyday.

This is a new motto I need to adopt:

Mornings

While all of us in our family (minus hubby) thoroughly enjoy summer more than any other season I know I was happy for it to come to an end as I was craving getting back into a routine with the three kids. I'm one of those people that does best when I know what is going to happen next-I do even better when I plan what is going to happen next!

This year brought to us a completely new routine as two of our three children would be in school. Angel our oldest was starting kindergarten, and Ayden our 3 year old was starting preschool. I can't think of anything more "scheduled" or "routine" than school days. From the outsider's perspective {which included mine up until about 3 weeks ago when school actually started}I assumed life would be much easier with 2 out of 3 kids in school and only one at home. Boy was I WRONG!! Instead of waking up in the morning and just getting myself ready for work and heading out the door now I have to get myself and Angel ready 5 days a week and 2 of those 5 days I have to get myself, and Angel, and Ayden ready for school.

Getting ready includes:
waking up, brushing my teeth, putting on my face lotion, putting on my "mommy makeup", picking out clothes for myself and the two kids, ironing all clothing, and finding matching socks, serving breakfast, brushing the kid's teeth, doing our 5 year old's hair as he has a "fauxhawk" this year, putting on shoes (sneakers for days there is gym and "Percy Jackson" shoes for days there are not gym...I'll explain in a future post!), making my super important coffee with our awesome Keurig, making my lunch, packing Angel's afternoon snack and juice, and rushing out the door in time to catch the bus!

So far I've found that doing as much as I can the night before really helps! Every night after all of the kids are in showered, in bed and asleep (usually by 7:30, sometimes later for Aaron because he's teething) I go downstairs and go through Angel's folder his teacher sends home every night and sign any paperwork that may be in there....thankfully the amount of paperwork coming home each night has significantly decreased since the start of the school year...then I make sure to get his lunch money and snack money ready for the following day. This is also when I go over any activities, fundraisers, or show and tell we may have the next day that I've written on an extra large calendar I've hung in out kitchen and color coded with each kids activities-see I told you I <3 schedules!

Phew, ok I think that is enough details on our schedule change. For now enjoy some pictures of Angel and Ayden's first days of school. More on our morning routine to follow so stay tuned!

Angel on his first day of school at the bus stop

Angel and his friend Sinai waiting for the bus together

Ayden outside of preschool

Ayden and his Thomas the Train backpack

Angel and Ayden before school

A little dust on the bottle

Ever heard that country song "A little dust on the bottle?" Well there's a little dust on this blog and I'm going to try my darn hardest to get it all off! I've been following a lot of blogs lately and have been so inspired. I feel like I have a much better grasp on the blogging community thanks to these lovely ladies: Mary at Lily White, Casey over at The Wiegands, Ashley from Little Miss Momma, and Ashley from The Shine Project.

Over the past couple of weeks these girls (some fellow momma's & some not) have taught me many life lessons. Lessons such as being yourself, not hiding who you truly are, not being afraid to show people your faults, handing over all of your worries and anxieties to the Lord, using what we have to help others-even when what we have may not seem like that much, and so much more! These ladies have truly been inspiring and I can only hope to achieve a tiny little piece of what they have through their amazing words in each of their blogs.

Who knows...maybe this will be the time that I actually find myself through this blog.