Hankerchiefs

I was walking on my lunch break the other day and I saw on older man pull out a handkerchief.  

Instantly I was brought back to my Pop-pop.

He always had a "hankie" in his back pocket.

It's little things like this memory, this one moment in time that bring back the great great memories of my grandparents.

I miss them everyday.

The wounds are still fresh, but healing a little more each day.
It's becoming easier to smile about our memories, rather than be sad.

But moments like this I am thankful for having them in my life.

For having amazing moments to remember them by.

Moments like this that make me smile

because of who they were, and who they helped me become.

Coffee Date

It's been a while..perhaps too long.

We're overdue for a coffee date.

On this coffee date I'd invite you to my favorite little coffee house

because we would never get through an entire conversation with my three little guys running around!
And lord knows I could use a break too!

We'd go up to the counter, I'd order a vanilla chai latte and offer to pay for your drink too.  

Then we could head to the oversize comfy leather couches.

And begin our talk...

I'd tell you how I'm finally starting to adjust to having 2 kids in school, now that it's March! But some days are still a struggle.

I'd tell you how I have no idea what I want to do with my shop. I can't decide if I want to keep it going or just close it up all together. I'm having a hard time juggling Facebook, Twitter, this blog, and real life.  And how that decision bums me out because I was so passionate this time last year for just opening my shop.

How I feel like I am ready to take my blog to the next level, but don't have the resources to pay to have an overhaul.  That little by little I am learning to do things on my own in the world of HTML and google has become my best friend, but it's is very.frustrating!

I'd tell you how Aaron's personality is coming out more and more everyday.  I think he's going to be a combination of his big brothers.  Hes loud and independent like Angel, but kind and gentle like Ayden.  The best of both worlds :)

How I worry each and every day that my actions are going to impact our kids for the rest of their lives. And I'm scared to make the tiniest mistake so as not to impact their life in a negative way.  I strive to give them happy memories and am still struggling to find a balance between a set routine (that accommodates all of us) as well as happy, fun time to be crazy and silly!  

I'd express my frustration in us not buying a house this year and staying where we are for longer.  I am thankful that we have a warm, full house but most days we are literally bursting at the seams and it's really starting to wear on me and my personality a little more each day.  And that as hard as I try I still let it effect my attitude and personality.  But I am working on it.

I'd tell you how I am becoming more comfortable and open with my religion, and how that wasn't always how I was.  It's easier for me to talk about express my beliefs, and that I am starting to hear and listen to Him more often.

I'd tell you that every day our kids do something that takes my breath away and that they are just growing up.too.fast and as hard as it is to sometimes just get through another day {and most days that's all I can focus on} I wish I could just slow down and enjoy this time with them, because I know it won't last
forever.

I'd ask you how you and your life are going.
Is there anything I can be of help with?
Any advice needed?
Prayers needed for you or your friends?

I'd thank you for spending your precious time with me because I probably need it more than you know.
I'd thank you for getting me out of my crazy house and regaining my sanity, giving me a reason to dress in something other than sweats on the weekend, and giving me an hour to just breathe.
And then we'd part ways until we can fit another coffee date into both of our schedules, but I would carry the memory of our get-together fresh in my mind until our next one.

My favorite place

This is my favorite place :)

What's yours?

This weekend

Our weekend kicked off with a rainy Friday which turned into a blustery but sun filled weekend!  

 Saturday I was lucky enough to take our car to the inspection station {not} to have it inspected and then was able to spend the rest of the day with family!!  

There's nothing I love more than family, our kids love it too! 

So much fun.

Lots of coffee. comfort food. and laughs.

 Saturday night hubby and I were lucky enough to head out for a much need-long overdue date night!  

We had dinner at Chili's followed by watching The Vow. 

 Oooh Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams, two of my favorites!  

A lot of people who saw The Vow said it wasn't what they had expected, but I loved it!  

And it's based on a true story, how awesome :) 

So of course now I want to read the book!

 Any who....enjoy some pics from our weekend!

People Pleasing-NO MORE!

A few months ago a fellow blogger turned me onto an UH-ma-zing author, Angela Thomas.  

As you may have guessed she writes Christian novels and has that mom perspective that I love o.so.much these days!  

I just finished a book by her called Do You Know Who I am? 

 This is the second of her books that I have read.  

There is a part in the book where she talks about trying to appease people, and get along with people in order to keep the peace because we are called to.  

Angela says:

"Sure, some people are just downright mean, but we are called to

 try anyway...up to a point and then we can follow Jesus' example of what to do if we 

try and it doesn't work.  If someone is repeatedly rude, distant, or unwilling to hear even your most gracious heart of compassion toward them, first, "It it is possible, as far as it is depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18).  Next, if they are still unresponsive to your heart like Jesus toward them, then you're done.  Shake the dust off your sandals and go the other way

 (Matthew 10:14). 

 It's just as simple as that-literally! 

Try and try again, and if you are still not being show the same respect you are giving then...

 LET IT GO.  

Boy, this has been a  HUUUUGE one for me!  

I have never been able to let anything go.  

I am the type of person that dissects every conversation over and over in my head on what I should have or could have said better.  

To not sound so stupid, or to have stopped stuttering over my words.  

But the truth is the Bible says it's okay to let it go.  

Be done with it and use my energy for other things.  

Better, happier things.

Don't waste time on someone who won't show you the time of day.  

We don't have to have perfect relationship with every person we encounter. 

And that's okay. 

We don't have to mesh with every co-worker our ours. 

And that's okay. 

 Lord knows that I have been there and done that to the point where I just don't know how else to get a person to like me.

Well guess what? 

Not everybody is going to.

I'm just learning this....and it's amazing!

What a freeing feeling :)

Maybe someone had a terrible life event that changed their personality or made them into the bitter-Betty they have become.

Either way-it's not my fault.  

I can't fix them. 

I can try, and I will.
I will try my hardest to show them kindness and respect.

I am told to give it my all.

I am to be as kind as I can. 

And then when it doesn't go any further.  

I let it go.

Because that is what the Bible says!

Hallelujah!

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. -Colossians 3:12

Prayer

I found myself praying tonight.

Praying harder than usual.

Praying for strength, praying for patience, but above all praying to act on all that I hear Him speak to me.

I prayed asking him to give me the strength to believe what he is telling me, to believe the will he lays onto me, to believe that these ideas and notions I have are more than just thoughts, and words racing through my mind.

I prayed for the strength and determination to put them into action.

I prayed to not feel silly when I have these ideas and I actually say them-OUT LOUD!

I can sit and read books all day long.

People can brainstorm and come up with ideas all.day.long.

It's the few people who actually put their ideas into actions that make a difference.

I can take advice and heed the words from other Christian bloggers, and mommy bloggers and believe me-they are great.  

In fact, most days they are exactly what I need to hear, and play right to the beat of my heart.

For now though what I need to focus on is hearing Him.

So many times in the past I have heard Him speak to me, answer my questions and I just carry on about my day as though I'm crazy.

That no one would ever support the ideas streaming through my mind.

Today that ends my friends.

Today begins the day that I start listening to all of His whispers and my gut feelings because of what He has laid upon me.

The past week especially he has been speaking to me in ways that I never thought possible.

I feel incredibly bad for saying this, but I haven't acted on a single one.

Today that stopped.

Today though for the first time I shared with my husband a thought I had.

An idea that He laid on my heart.

And do you know what happened?

My husband didn't think I was crazy...he fully supported my idea!

How great!

Today is a new day, a new page, and I cannot wait to see what the rest of this journey has in store for me!

Join me...won't you?!

Still Here

I am still here.
I have not abandoned this blog of mine...or you.
Life has been pretty crazy around here since we got back from Baltimore.
We've had 100th day of school activities, baseball sign ups, Valentines Day, birthday parties, extra hours at work, Sunday School and the dreaded stomach bug.
Yes, the stomach bug.
Now there's something you should know about me, if you already don't.
I am a borderline germ-o-phobe...... with 3 kids, yes this is true.

Do I have a tendency to wash my hands and my kids hands multiple times a day? 

YES

Do I make sure the first thing our kids do when we get in the house after being out is washing their hands? YES

Do I have a bottle of sanitizer in my purse, my car, hubby's car, our diaper bag, my desk at work, and both of our strollers? 

YES!

I am the type of person that if I even think you are sick or hear your sneeze I will do everything possible to stay as far away from you, and if we for some reason do come into the slightest of contact with one another I will then run to the nearest sink to wash my hands with scalding hot water and soap followed by quickly administering myself an Airborne.
If your kids are sick and you bring them near my kids-momma bear comes out! I try everything in my power to not let my kids interact with yours.
I mean seriously, who brings sick, snotty nosed, fever running, coughing, germ spreading kids out in public to spread their germs to other kids? It's hard enough to take care of 3 healthy kids let alone 3 sick kids, and we all know moms don't get sick days so that is just OUT of the question!
I'm sorry but I think that should be in the mom handbook.
If your child has been coughing/sneezing (not allergies), had a fever, or throwing up in the last 48 hours (yes, that's right I said 48, NOT 24) DO NOT bring them to a public place to keep spreading their germs!
Aye caramba!  Okay {stepping down from my soap box now} haha!

So the stomach bug hit our poor Ayden first on Tuesday night and the just when I thought I had disinfected, Lysol'd, and washed all of the germs out of our house Friday night it snuck up on me too, BOO!
Now, as I just stated Mom's don't get sick days.
This bug was a real whopper! I'm talking full on body ache, fever...the whole nine yards.
I felt so terrible that I was almost in tears!
I was lucky enough to lay in bed all day Saturday but my husband still had to go into work on Saturday night leaving me with 3 children to keep alive...{ahem} take care of I mean :)
Today I am feeling a bit better, able to keep down some food and liquids and actually able to get out of bed without being hunched over in pain.
I am also fortunate enough to have a husband who realized that I needed some recoop time and took himself and all three boys to his mom's house for the day.  Either that or he feared catching the bug from me too, but I like to think the first option!

So in case you have been wondering where I went I am back and ready to continue life with you my friends!

Stuck

Have you ever felt stuck?
Not like overwhelming stuck.
I'm talking about the kind of stuck where your trying so hard to figure out your calling or what to do next that you keep drawing a blank?
Like the harder you try the further away from it you actually get?
If that even makes sense...
I've been struggling with this the past couple of weeks-probably since the new year.
I want so badly to see how He will use me that I feel lost.
I feel useless.
Like I am wasting precious time that could be used for my true calling.
I've spent time focusing, praying, thinking but nothing has come about yet.
No clear cut signs.
I keep reading all of my books {which I am very much enjoying!} but feel empty at the end of them.
I start each one saying to myself "this will be the one. This book will lay upon my heart what my calling is."
But none of them have...
They all excite me and challenge me to live a more Christian life but don't quite fill that void.
I'm waiting and believing but my patience is wearing thin!
I hope it gets here soon!
Until then... Keep Believing my friends!

Unplugged.

This past weekend we celebrated my birthday in Baltimore.  

We were completely {unplugged}...well almost!  

We did keep our cell phones on us but only in case we got seperated, which of course we did as soon as we got inside Port Discovery!  

The kids had a blast, the weather was gorgeous, we actually ate out

...as in at restaurants!! 

That is something we almost never get to do as a family of 5!

We visited the biggest Barnes & Noble I have ever been in or seen...and the boys absolutely LOVED it!!  We walked the inner Harbor, spent the morning in the National Aquarium, and ate at The Cheesecake Factory {yum}

We explored a submarine, and the USS Constellation and of course the boys thought it was an adventure sleeping in a hotel room too!  

It felt great to spend quality time with our family-just US!  

There were so many "thank you's" and "I love you's" from the boys that it was overwhelming and practically brought tears to my eyes just to see how thankful and appreciative our kids really are (because they're not always that way).

  It was a great weekend all around! 

Enjoy some pics :)

Birthdays

Tomorrow is my birthday!

The big 27 :)

I feel like the older I get birthdays become bittersweet.

They're bitter for the obvious reasons:

 another year older, a celebration without my grandparents being here, time moving too quickly.

And sweet for the other reasons:

 yummy cake and goodies, that excited feeling you get knowing its your special day, special attention paid to you from others.

Overall though I am just thankful that I was here for another year.

Birthday's have become a reminder that we made it through another year.

That's why they are a celebration of life!

Another year wise, another year to be able to see my kids grow right before my eyes.

It's funny how when we're kids and it's our birthday we are focused on presents, and our birthday parties.

Who do we invite, who don't we invite.  Where do we want the party to take place?  What's our "big" gift? 

I've found that as I've gotten older birthdays have become more meaningful.  

They are just that more special to me as I'm becoming older (eek!).  

I started realizing this when we started having our boys.  

To sit back and think about the day that you had your son/daughter is just incredible! 

To think of all the built up anticipation of getting closer to your due date, the strenuous and straining hours spent in labor, all to bring this miracle of a life into this world is just moving and overwhelming at the same time.

Each and every year on our kids birthdays I take the time to reflect and remember these moments that we had with each of them. 

I don't ever want to forget these treasured moments in time.  

 It's amazing to sit back and remember that absolutely.amazing moment in time when

after hours of labor you heard your baby's first cry, and held them for the first time while staring through tear filled eyes  back into the tear filled eyes of your husband with complete joy!

This birthday will be spent taking our boys for a long weekend in Baltimore and they are super excited!

A hotel room, the National Aquarium, the Children's Museum, and much much more!

This is what I walked into in my office this morning...and one of the many reasons I absolutely love working where I do :)