Monday, February 17, 2014

On my heart

I've spent the majority of my life feeling inferior. 
I've spent far too many years letting others put me and my thoughts down.
I've let too many people and conversations make me feel like I am not enough.
Not good enough, smart enough, worthy enough.
This is something that started way before motherhood and I feel like the past 8 years of mothering have amplified it.
There is such a constant struggle between us mothers.
A competition of sorts.
Who's kid has the nicest toys, who just took the most lavish vacation, the biggest house, the nicest clothes, I mean really where does it end?
If I'm being completely honest it's exhausting!
And please remind me how is that being productive?
I thought we were supposed to build one another up?
Help each other through all those rough patches and let one another know there is a light at the end, and that we will get through this.
Whatever THIS may be.
Well today I'm putting an end to inferiority.  
I will no longer let others or myself, make me feel inferior.
Even if this is a journey I am on alone I know it is a journey I must take.
I don't care how long, how tiring, or how dirty of a road this is.
It has got to be done.
I've got to respectfully stand up for myself.
I have to know deep down that
Otherwise what kind of an example am I setting for my children? 
What kind of a legacy will I leave for them?
More than anything I want them to know that life is meant to be lived.
There is always going to be naysayers.
But at the end if the day it's how you show those naysayers what you are really made of that means the most.
It is how you handle and present yourself to all those who told you you couldn't, or wouldn't make it.
It's time to show them that I am enough!
I am enough. 

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